Watching the Nick Kyrgios post Wimbledon interview last night when he lost to Andy Murray I didn’t see someone deflated or demotivated. What I could see was a guy who was doing a sport probably because he was good at it, not necessarily with his head in the game. ‘What else am I going to do?’ is a classic feeling of someone pushed into a sport because of that, from a really young age when you don’t get to make those choices.
You see people at an older age choosing to do sports and absolutely loving them. Unfortunately when you’re young and good at something you go along with what your parents want you to do / to be and this then gets sucked into a coaching team and someone else’s plan for you. Then it all becomes about people pleasing.
As a child they realised I was good at swimming. I was taken out of choir with my friends to swim up and down relentlessly six days a week. Yes no one forced me but never was there a plan for why I was doing it. Every weekend I was competing so I was doing it because I won medals. I was a fish in the water but at the same time I was also a fish out of water.
At 17 I was about to do the Commonwealth qualifiers but I just didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to scrape by and be last in a major competition. I was used to winning but I also didn’t have the want to do it. There were people who wanted it far more than me. So I stopped. Much to my parents annoyance and my coach being disappointment it wasn’t something I wanted any more. I had lost my mojo. I couldn’t do it half heartedly. I didn’t actually swim for 10 years after that. The smell of chlorine turned my stomach. My body which I’d controlled through exercise was like Michelin woman. But the overwhelming feeling I had was of disapproval.
Probably the reason I do yoga and am in a caring profession like Sports Massage now are for seeking that approval, self acceptance almost. Nick Kyrgios’ reaction isn’t of arrogance but of dejection. Not knowing why he’s playing tennis, who he’s playing for and what he’s going to learn from this! Going along with something because you’re good at it then you lose anyway = confusing. He needs time to refocus and figure it out, not be slammed by journalists speculating that he has a problem.
Namaste
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