When I really think about it, it has always been exercise that has allowed me to focus myself. As a swimmer in my youth having something to channel my energy into during those formative years was possibly a saviour. Sport is always something i’ve gone back to. I have found lifting heavy weights to be the most satisfying. Yes I know it is good health wise, but I have never really explored how good it has been for the soul.

I’m reluctant to use the word trauma yet when I stumbled upon this book it made a lot of sense. Not only does the author refer to their own trauma as [ ] they appreciate the boundaries around it. If you’re not ready to talk about something people can invade your choice to, often at the least opportune moments. It can feel like emotional ammunition.

Lifting Heavy Things by Laura Khoudari:

‘I decided to use movement to intentionally cultivate a relationship with my body;
I listened to it more carefully and began to honour it, not just when it needed to move but also when it needed to rest. 

I had to, or else I ran the risk of getting hurt again and again, which would mean I couldn’t train at all. 

I changed the way I approached strength training in order to heal my back first, then to protect my body. 

I had no idea that this mental process would play a pivotal role in helping me heal my emotional and spiritual self, 
as well as my relationships with others.’

I have lifted heavy sh*t for a few years now when I realised the back fat was emerging. My upper body strength is fairly good due massaging for up to 6 hours a day. It makes me feel strong, empowered but also able to handle things better. What it has got me out of is a few scrapes with my back, including through lockdown, and obviously the [ ]

See me lifting heavy on instagram
NB: I train with a PT Tasha Smith to avoid injury and keep correct form. Training in a group doesn’t always work for me as movements are too fastly HiiT based so it’s like a red rag to a competitive creature!